yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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