cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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