i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
