I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
