It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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