when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
