I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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