At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
