I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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