3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
