Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
