I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Still dying that you shit outside
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
