No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
