Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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