So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
