I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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