i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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