Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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