so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
