um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize