i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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