For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
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I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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