Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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