Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
