Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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