that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I AM VODKA MAN
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
