dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
