This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
