i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
