the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
