ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
