i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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