Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
