you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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