It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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