He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
