I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
