Do you still have your period?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
