Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
