If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
