well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
