I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
