I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Four minutes until I can fart!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize