White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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