I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just want to make out with him forever
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
