You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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