if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
no, he came in my armpit
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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