if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize