I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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