just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
