We're like a lot better than the average bears
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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