Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
