D3 body, D1 cock
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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