I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!