That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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