I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize