when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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