He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
