TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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