He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
