I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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