I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
