Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I love you. Go after that dick
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
