i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
