at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
